And I beheld when he had opened the sixt seale, and loe, there was a great earthquake, and the Sunne became blacke as sackecloth of haire, and the Moone became as blood. And the starres of heauen fell vnto the earth, euen as a figge tree casteth her vntimely figs when she is shaken of a mighty winde. And the heauen departed as a scrowle when it is rolled together, and euery mountaine and island were moued out of their places. And the Pope sent his first tweet.
—Revelation 6:12-14.
Dr. Boli's Celebrated Magazine. 
Love it.
And lo, the stranger traveled to the place that is called Market and while there bought a package of animal crackers. And on the box held the inscription “Do not eat if seale is broken.” Upon opening and casting his eyes upon the contents, he exclaimed “Damn.”