ANTISOCIAL NETWORKING.

HERE ARE A number of Frequently Asked Questions about MyPlaceGetOut.com, the new antisocial networking site.

Q. What is MyPlaceGetOut.com?

A. MyPlaceGetOut.com is the new antisocial networking site.

Q. What is antisocial networking?

A. In the spirit of “Web 2.0,” antisocial networking is a new high-tech way for you to keep all your personal information, hobbies, interests, favorite Web sites, and so on, to yourself.

Q. How do I use it?

A. It’s really very simple. You just browse the Web as you normally do. When you come to a site that particularly interests you, you write down the address on a 3-by-5 index card and store the card safely in a small box.

Q. I have a number of these cards prepared. What do I do with them now?

A. We recommend burning them to ensure your privacy.

Q. What about my personal information, hobbies, interests, &c.? Should I write those down on index cards, too?

A. We recommend not even writing those down. It is always possible that, when you burned the index cards, the smoke would rise from the chimney and form letters spelling out the message you had burned, thus making it legible to the world at large. Such an incident was documented in an animated cartoon by the celebrated Fleischer brothers, and we should hate to be responsible for the unintentional disclosure of your private information.

Q. But if I don’t write down my personal information, how will I remember who I am?

A. For this purpose we recommend some mnemonic device such as a short rhyme. The renowned classical scholar Benjamin Jowett came up with this little ditty:

My name is Benjamin Jowett.
I’m the president of this college.
If anything’s knowledge, I know it,
and what I don’t know isn’t knowledge.

By means of this easily memorized poem he was able to remember, not only his name, but also his employment, and even the attitude he intended to adopt toward his students.

Q. I tried going to MyPlaceGetOut.com, but my browser says “Cannot find server.” What’s going on?

A. In order to protect your privacy completely, the domain name MyPlaceGetOut.com has not been registered and is therefore not accessible from the Internet.