THE CAT WHO SAID ‘OOP OOP SPICKETY WICKETY HIGGLE WIGGLE SPLOT.’

IN HONOR OF the fifth anniversary of his celebrated Magazine on the World-Wide Web, Dr. Boli is reprinting some favorite articles and advertisements from the past five years.

ONCE THERE WAS a puppy whose mother loved him very much. She taught him how to wag his tail and how to beg the people for food, which are the two best things a dog can know.

One day she decided to teach him about the other animals on the farm.

You can tell what kind of animal it is by the sound it makes,” she told him.

The puppy tilted his head and lifted his ears. He loved sounds.

A cow says ‘moo,’” his mother said. “Dogs are friends to cows, because they are very big and do not eat our food.”

Moo,” the puppy repeated.

A rooster says ‘cock-a-doodle-doo,’” his mother continued. “Dogs are friends to roosters, because roosters help guard the farm.”

The puppy tilted his head the other way to show he was still listening.

A sheep says ‘baa,’” said the mother dog. “Sheep are a bit dim, but easy to get along with. Dogs are friends to sheep.”

Baa,” the puppy repeated.

Now his mother’s face grew dark, and she spoke in grave tones. “A cat says ‘meow,’” she told him. “Dogs hate cats and chase them whenever we can, because cats are evil and manipulative, and they steal our food when we’re not looking. If you see a cat, you chase it.”

When the lesson was over, the puppy trotted off into the fields to play.

On the way, he met a cow.

What kind of animal are you?” the puppy asked.

Moo,” said the cow.

You must be a cow,” the puppy said, “because you say ‘moo.’ My mother told me that dogs are friends to cows.” And he wagged his tail in a friendly way as he passed the cow.

Next he met a rooster. “What kind of animal are you?” the puppy asked.

Cock-a-doodle-doo,” said the rooster.

You must be a rooster,” the puppy said, “because you say ‘cock-a-doodle-doo.’ My mother told me that dogs are friends to roosters.” And he wagged his tail in a friendly way as he passed the rooster.

Next he met a sheep.

What kind of animal are you?” the puppy asked.

Baa,” said the sheep.

You must be a sheep,” the puppy said, “because you say ‘baa.’ My mother told me that dogs are friends to sheep.” And he wagged his tail in a friendly way as he passed the sheep.

Next he met a cat.

What kind of animal are you?” the puppy asked.

Oop oop spickety wickety higgle wiggle splot,” said the cat.

I’m sorry,” the puppy said. “I didn’t quite understand that.”

Picka wacka quicka macka spuckle muckle fleep,” said the cat.

This is very puzzling,” the puppy said. “You can’t be a cow, because cows say ‘moo.’”

Ring rang vippity vop,” said the cat.

And you can’t be a rooster, because roosters say ‘cock-a-doodle-doo,’” the puppy continued.

Skee-beet zu-rack flack be dack wack vo vack,” said the cat.

And you can’t be a sheep, because sheep say ‘baa.’”

Blibber blap cobble snap,” said the cat.

And you can’t be a cat, because cats say ‘meow.’”

Bitterby batterby wittil drip,” said the cat.

I’ll have to tell my mother that I’ve discovered a new kind of animal,” the puppy said. “Won’t she be proud of me!” And he wagged his tail in a friendly way as he passed the cat.

The cat watched the puppy romp off into the field. Then he turned and went back to his own mother, who had been watching from a patch of weeds.

You see, it’s just as I told you,” said the mother cat. “Dogs are a bit dim, but easy to get along with.”


Published in: on June 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm  Leave a Comment  

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