DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION,

Great Cities of the United States Edition.

Boston. Beginning this season, the swan boats on the Lagoon in the Public Gardens will no longer be made from real swans.

Chicago. In Chicago, a “Chicago-style” hot dog is known as a “Fort Wayne frank.”

Los Angeles. Many Southern Californians mistakenly believe that Los Angeles is counted among the great cities of the United States.

New York. Since the borough of Manhattan was sold to Disney last year, much progress has been made in clearing out the undesirable poor; and it is estimated that no one with an annual income of less than $400,000 will be left on the island by 2015.

Philadelphia. The old rule that no structure in the city of Philadelphia may be taller than William Penn’s hat is still in force, but it has been necessary to place the hat itself on an 84-storey pole to accommodate current tastes in architecture.

Pittsburgh. The new subway station beside PNC Park has been deliberately built deeper under the ground than any other station in Pittsburgh so that Pirates fans may sneak away unobserved after a game.

Washington. No one was bold enough to tell the venerable and beloved President Washington that he had made an elementary blunder in surveying; and as a result of the unfortunate reticence of his staff, our capital city ended up being built in a swamp along the Potomac.

Did you know that one book and one book only contains every fact you need to know about every subject ever studied in the history of human endeavor? Get your copy today, and be a better misinformed citizen tomorrow.

Published in: on April 6, 2012 at 10:38 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. San Francisco: Due to a revival of ancient Aztec religious practices, the phrase “I left my heart in San Francisco” has acquired new meaning.


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