HELPFUL HINTS.

A HAMBURGER JOINT is not authentically Belgian unless it serves its French fries with mayonnaise.

Books trap air between their pages and in their spines, and thus make very good insulation. Lining your walls with books may therefore qualify you for an energy tax credit.

When visiting a career counselor, be sure to ask about the opportunities for advancement that a career in career counseling might open up. The result of your inquiry may be very enlightening, or at least entertaining.

Are you concerned about bacterial diseases and other impurities in the grape juice your children consume? Grape juice can be preserved in a pure and wholesome state almost indefinitely by adding a little yeast and allowing fermentation to occur.

When composing personal ads, be sure to disguise your age, weight, personal appearance, and hobbies and interests. It is not wise to give identity thieves any clues to work with.

 

Published in: on February 7, 2012 at 7:06 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Exquisite, as usual!

  2. […] HELPFUL HINTS. – “Are you concerned about bacterial diseases and other impurities in the grape juice your children consume? Grape juice can be preserved in a pure and wholesome state almost indefinitely by adding a little yeast and allowing fermentation to occur.” […]

    • I’m not sure this is accurate – the fermented grape juice in my house tends to mysteriously disappear. I’d ask my housemates, but they’re all asleep with empty glasses nearby.


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