FITNESS TIPS.

EAT YOUR DOUGHNUTS standing up.

Always drink plenty of fluids in a location at least a quarter mile from the nearest bathroom.

During your morning and afternoon commute, walk from one end of the streetcar to the other and back again until you reach your stop. Don’t forget to say “Excuse me” to the other passengers.

Visualize yourself as fit and healthy. Studies have shown that self-delusion can be as effective as exercise in raising your self-esteem.

Read only heavy hardcover books.

Buy a piece of expensive exercise equipment from a store near you and carry it home. The next day, carry it back to the store for a refund. Repeat until you are banned from the store; then find a different store.

Remember to fidget while you watch the television.

To make sure you get your full measure of exercise every day, assign some of it to the servants.

Published in: on January 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] your daily cheer-me-upper, go here. Tell your friends!FacebookMoreStumbleUponDiggEmailRedditTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like […]

  2. Watch the Olympics vigorously at least three times.

  3. Don’t forget that diet soda dissolves fat.

  4. Draping clothes over a treadmill burns a surprising amount of fat as well.


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