ASK DR. BOLI.

Dear Dr. Boli: The cheese I bought at a local gourmet market says on the label that it is “100% grass-fed.” What does that mean? I was not aware that cheese ate grass. —Sincerely, A Gourmet Who Is Rapidly Losing Her Appetite for Cheese.

Dear Madam: The cheese you see in markets has, of course, been slaughtered and usually skinned and cut for sale. We seldom have a chance to see the majestic animal roaming free across the vast steppes that were once its home; but if you visit the great cheese farms of Pennsylvania, New York, Wisconsin, and Ohio, you can still see large herds of cheeses in a domesticated state. In the wild, cheese subsists on whatever scrub and weeds it can find to graze on. Domestic cheese may be fed almost any vegetable garbage, such as potato peels, carrot ends, and broccoli stems; but the best and most expensive cheeses are fed grass only, usually in the form of clippings from a local country club. Dr. Boli hopes that, now that you know how much care has gone into the feeding and slaughtering of the cheese you have just purchased, you have regained your healthy appetite.

Published in: on January 12, 2012 at 8:41 pm  Comments (4)  
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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Whoah! Tags! Are we gonna go back and retro-tag all the old articles, or will we go a few days with the only searchable tag on the website is “Cheese”? Because I’m perfectly fine with that.

    • Once every few months, Dr. Boli feels ambitious enough to add a tag to an article; then the desire subsides, and the tag-hungry public have to wait another few months. However, it might be possible to create a script that would “retro-tag” all the old articles at once. Dr. Boli supposes that “Cheese” would be a good tag for pretty much all of them, so the script would not be terribly complex.

  2. Far be it from me to correct so august a personage as Dr. Boli, but perchance you had a typo above? The sentence near the middle of your otherwise excellent discourse seems as though it should read “you can still see large CURDS of cheeses in a domesticated state.” I know, the words sound so similar, the confusion would be natural. I know that I’ve frequently marveled at vast curds of cheese in their domesticated state.

  3. […] “What is 100% grass-fed cheese?” Tell your friends!FacebookMoreStumbleUponDiggEmailRedditTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Humour. Bookmark the permalink. ← “I wasn’t eligable for the draft” […]


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