LETTER TO THE EDITOR.

Sir: I must confess myself very disappointed in your coverage of my speech to the Society for the Advancement of Quince Products last Thursday. I am not a racist. I have nothing but respect for the Andorran people, and anyone who knows me knows that I do not have a hateful bone in my body. It is, of course, useless to deny that I spoke the words which I am recorded as saying on the video posted on your Web site. I do not deny saying that “the Andorran people are a miserable clot of filthy halfbreeds who can’t decide whether to be Spanish or French, and the world would be a better and more virtuous place if they were all poisoned and died a lingering and miserable death.” But surely any candid viewer can see that I was quoted out of context. Would it have been too much for you to let the video run another few seconds, so that your viewers could have heard me add, “But that would not be practical”?

It is at times like these that I am, to be perfectly frank, thoroughly disgusted with the American media, and wish that the most prominent outlets were not dominated by money-grubbing Andorran billionaires who want to bleed our country dry. But I repeat that I have nothing but respect for both my constituents of Andorran ancestry, as long as they do not attempt to marry my daughters. I should like a full apology from your publication, but I suppose that would be too much to expect from deluded Andorran sympathizers like yourselves.

—Sincerely,
Albert Cardoon,
State Representative,
Harrisburg

Published in: on July 5, 2011 at 9:28 pm  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Those ******* Andorrans control the media.

  2. Speaking of context, Yes, you added , “But that would not be practical” And went on to say, “However modern science will overcome any difficulties in this matter.”

    We Andorrans must be allowed to run free, dragging our knuckles as we wish.

  3. […] LETTER TO THE EDITOR. « Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.. […]

  4. (Memo to self: Never reveal your bigotries, especially in private correspondence.)

  5. It’s the blue skin and antennae that disturb some people… oh, wait, did you mean Andorian or Andorran?

  6. Why drag the Society for the Advancement of Quince Products into this unseemly row, Mr. Cardoon?

    I very much suspect that you have been paid off to act as a lobbyist by the rival purveyors of medlars, and that you hope, by associating the harmless and virtuous quince in the public mind with the repugnancies of the Andorran Controversy, to degrade the one fruit and exalt the other in the opinions of all right-thinking persons!


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