In honor of the fourth anniversary of his Celebrated Magazine on the World-Wide Web, Dr. Boli is reprinting some of the most notable articles, stories, poems, and advertisements of the past four years.
THE EXCAVATION OF Tomb 13, the spectacularly intact burial of a Mon Valley Culture prince or king, has immeasurably increased our knowledge of this hitherto obscure civilization. Archaeologists have now released eight accurate sketches of artifacts found at the site, and Dr. Emil von Zeitgeist, director of the expedition, has helpfully explained each one for us, according to the most accurate information available to him.
Fig. 1. An altar on which the first fruits of the harvest were offered to the gods.
Fig. 2. A ceremonial throne, used by the priests of the cult during cult rituals.
Fig. 3. A four-pronged squash masher or taffy puller.
Fig. 4. A board game, thought to resemble our checkers or chess, but with only one square on the board.
Fig. 5. A loom on which rugs and blankets were woven for the tourist trade.
Fig. 6. A primitive objet d’art, serving no useful purpose but enhancing the reputation of its owner.
Fig. 7. A multidimensional time lattice, used for communicating with the extraterrestrial visitors who brought it to earth.
Fig. 8. A table.