Dear Dr. Boli,
Being awfully inquisitive, I have two matters on which I would like enlightenment. First, could you tell me the deepest, darkest secrets of a certain friend of mine, Phil Briggs? (In case you are not familiar, Phil Brigs is pretty much blonde hair plus energy plus a rare sense of Briggsiness.) Second, what are your thoughts on the morality of napkin-throwing? I am decidedly against such antics. As always, I trust in your benevolence and sagacity. You are to me like the Great Pumpkin to Linus VanPelt.
Thank you so much,