John Calvin Orthodox Reformed Church will not be holding Ash Wednesday services this year, or any year. If you were thinking of repenting, save yourselves the trouble. You’re all damned anyway, so you might as well stay home and wallow in your own filth the way you do every other day of the year.

St. Britney Parish invites you to get your Lenten mortifications off to a good start at our All-Dan-Schutte musical service. Bring a guitar and strum along if you like.

Holy Regression Nicolaitan Orthodox Church reminds everyone not to fall for the heathen lie that says Lent begins this week. If the Julian calendar was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for you.

Blandville Unitarian-Universalist Church is a house of worship with a profound respect for all religions. This year we will be sacrificing eight Methodists to Huitzilopochtli.

St. Barnabas Lutheran Church invites you to repent for all the awful things you did in Libya this past week. We may not have been directly involved, but as Lutherans we know that we are all somehow responsible.

Published in: on March 7, 2011 at 10:12 pm  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This year, Great Lent according to the Julian Calendar begins the same week (though not the same day) as Lent on the Gregorian Calendar.

  2. Is Great Lent when we should be expecting The Great Pumpkin?

  3. Love those crazy Unitarians.

  4. As the Baltimore Catechism points out, “Lent” rhymes with “rent” so as to remind us all to “pay” for our sins.

  5. […] Dr. Boli has published a helpful listing for those seeking an Ash Wednesday service to […]

  6. […] In other news: ASH WEDNESDAY SERVICES. […]

  7. I know it was two weeks ago, but needed to let you know that St. Bob’s (formerly Five Holy Wounds) out here in California had services similar to St. Britney’s, but it was an all Marty Haugen musical program. Sand in the fonts. Flower petals instead of ashes. The usual.

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