EXTINCT LANGUAGE FOUND IN OLD MAGAZINE CLIPPING.
PITTSBURGH (Special to the Dispatch).—A magazine clipping recently found in a local attic may hold the only remnants of a long-extinct North American language, scholars from the Duck Hollow University Department of Cryptolinguistics announced yesterday.
The clipping, found in a scrapbook from the late 1930s, comes from a magazine entitled Romance in Rhythm, which contained short fiction apparently aimed at the youth market.
The short story was written in English, said Duck Hollow professor Eustace Grimm, but it included snatches of dialogue in a hitherto unknown language that may have been native to certain regions of Manhattan Island in lower New York State, to judge by the setting of the story.
Prof. Grimm released a sample of the newly identified language at a press conference on the DHU campus, next to the soda machine down the hall from the dean’s office.
“Well, all reet, Jackson!” said Rosie, with feeling. “You’re one swingin’ gate! You’re in the groove! Gimme some skin and let’s blow this joint!”
“Killer-diller, baby!” he replied, just as enthusiastically. “You really send me! Knock me a kiss and let’s truck!”
Prof. Grimm urged linguists around the world to study this fragment. “It may be possible,” he explained, “to identify some related living language that might provide a key to deciphering this hitherto unknown tongue.”