STATISTICS.

IN ANY GIVEN population in any given part of the world, roughly 8% of adults carry the gene that, left to its own devices, would turn them into ichthyologists.

More than 50% of people worldwide are of below-average intelligence. Statisticians are unable to explain this mathematical anomaly.

At least 83% of statistics, according to a recent Chatham University study, are just made up.

The most recent estimates suggest that 41% of the words on an average Web site are superfluous. The number of superfluous words rises with the perceived intellectual level of the Web site. In his celebrated Magazine, Dr. Boli has made it a point to eschew all words of any significance whatsoever.

As a general rule, statements that claim to be true 99.9% of the time are incorrect 99.9% of the time.

Published in: on August 13, 2010 at 11:24 pm  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Did you know that 1 in 3 Americans are crazy? Hard to believe? This statistic can be verified by simple observation. Next time you are in any crowd, check the person to your left, and the person to your right. If neither of them are crazy then it’s you.

    Doctors identify smoking as a leading cause of statistics.

    A mathematician boarded a flight to Dubai carrying TNT in his suitcase. When stopped by security, he explained that that this would reduce the risk of terrorism on the flight. “Do you realize,” he said, “how unlikely it is that two bombs would end up on the same plane?”

  2. The mathematical anomaly seems both probably true and not hard to explain at all…there are people of very high intelligence, and none below a certain level of intelligence (because there is the basic floor of not being a rock, but no real ceiling). Thus a majority of people could be below average intelligence, because none of them are rocks, but some are geniuses.

    For example, if you have five people with IQs as follows:

    1
    79
    105
    145
    167

    you get 99.4 as an average. But it doesn’t count Doctor Boli. If we factor him in, our average rises to at least 249.5, and probably higher, but I couldn’t remember Doctor Boli’s IQ, as I neglected to write it down, so I just went with 1000. Thus a handy majority of people would have below average intelligence.

    Just saying.

  3. Doctor Boli’s fan’s are awesome!

  4. Ick! Ick! These statistics seem very fishy to me.
    I’ll have to masticate on this a while Dr. Boli and form a consensus of my own opinion.

  5. What percentage of people have the gene that would turn them into botanists?

  6. What percentage of people have the gene that would turn them into botanists?

    Several.


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