DR. BOLI’S CELEBRATED I.Q. TEST.

IN HONOR OF the forthcoming third anniversary of his Celebrated Magazine on the World-Wide Web, Dr. Boli is reprinting some of the most notable articles, stories, poems, and advertisements of the past three years.

This simple I.Q. test is by far the most popular article Dr. Boli has ever published on the Web, a curious fact that Dr. Boli can only attribute to the strange intellectual insecurity of the average Internet user.

DR. BOLI’S I.Q. is 462. Are you smarter than Dr.Boli? Try this simple questionnaire to measure your own I.Q.

1. What is the next number in this series?
827, 827, 827, 827, 827, ___

a. 827.
b. 12,374,349,0354,498.58.
c. DCCCXXVII, just for variety’s sake.
d. Not enough information to care.

2. Napoleon attempted to conquer Russia and failed. What should he have done instead?

a. Attempted to conquer China.
b. Taken up some harmless hobby, like building empires in a bottle.
c. Invited the Russians over for tea. Russians love tea.
d. Not enough information to care.

3. How many Frenchmen can’t be wrong?

a. 50,000,000.
b. Green.
c. The Battle of Lepanto.
d. Not enough information to care.

4. Mrs. Vihuela has two pineapples and wants to feed 11.83 friends with them. How should she divide the pineapples so that everyone gets an equal share?

a. She should dice them.
b. She should puree them.
c. She should give her friends aronia berries instead.
d. Not enough information to care.

5. Solve this traditional charade:

My first is a pill that just will not go down;
My second, the heel of a rodeo clown;
My third, an opossum who drove into town:
Together, we make Thomas Jefferson frown.

What am I?

a. A 1935 De Soto Airflow with a large dent in the left front fender.
b. The transcendental unity of apperception.
c. Three empty pie crusts in the back of the freezer.
d. Not enough information to care.

Scoring.

Each answer is assigned to a particular letter. Assign to these letters numerical values, as follows:

a = 9
b = 17
c = 31
d = 43

Now add up the numbers corresponding to your answers. This is your I.Q., and you are not smarter than Dr. Boli.

Published in: on June 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm  Leave a Comment  

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