I recently inquired into placing an advertisement on “Google,” a curiously-named corporation specializing in content retrieval. Unfortunately, they reacted negatively to my proposal for printing my ad copy on the envelopes housing the microfiche I believe they deliver to subscribers making queries therein. Perhaps, then, I might place my public notice with your undoubtedly more discriminating readers.
Should it be possible, I would like my copy to reach your intelligent readers, not the educated ones, as your humble reader’s prior experience with educated persons has not been altogether pleasant, and may indeed, Sir, be justifiably said to be nearly unpleasant.
Please advise as to what warranty is made of the safety and efficacy of advertisements made herein, and submit, if you would be so kind, a rate sheet to Mr. Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., who is desirous of expanding his readership by means of a felicitous advertisement in these pages.