Published in: on May 25, 2010 at 9:39 pm  Comments (2)  

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  1. Perfect. Now, I won’t have to put “-bimetalism” after all of my searches and my children’s searches anymore! I will not have any silver-loving namby pambery in this house!

  2. Dear Trusty Optimized Internet Search:

    Would you be so good as to search for my car keys? I have looked everywhere but the Internet for them, and should be much obliged if you should turn them up. I give you my assurances that the vehicle to which they are paired is fairly family-friendly, with spacious cargo room and seating for five, and that the keys themselves, while not entirely monochromatic, are indeed invariably constructed of only the finest and purest brass alloy.

    I may, perhaps, further set your mind at ease in this matter by giving you my word of honor that I shall never contemplate the use of these keys as a medium of exchange, and that “Bryanism” is deemed a coarse word in this household, not suitable for the ears of impressionable children.

    Your expedited assistance in this most pertinent matter would leave me greatly in your debt — a debt, indeed, that I shall remit with a Half Eagle.

    Yours &c.,
    B. Woods, Esq.

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