He first gained wide notice in 1924, when he wrote in Recording Technology Illustrated that “The process of sound recording has probably reached its apex from a technological point of view, and no serious improvements in the art may henceforth be expected.”

From that point on, Dr. Klunck was much in demand as a speaker and writer, and his pronouncements were widely quoted in the popular press. In a much-cited article from 1926, he wrote, “It is not likely that any truly satisfactory method of synchronizing sound with motion pictures will ever be found; and even if such a technical impossibility were feasible, it would be very difficult to convince the moviegoing public to change its habits to accommodate the new form of presentation.”

He frequently gave opinions on political as well as technological matters. In 1933, he confidently told the New York Herald-Tribune that “The German people’s flirtation with fascism is but the ‘fad’ of a moment, and by this time next year we may certainly expect to see another Social Democratic majority in the Reichstag.”

In 1944, as the Second World War was entering its final stage, he wrote in Popular Science, “Fortunately, the capacity of the human race for destruction is limited, and it is some consolation to be able to say with assurance that no more destructive weapons than those so far employed in the current conflict can ever be discovered.”

Dr. Klunck continued his predictions into the postwar era, telling an audience in 1959 that “The insoluble problem of solar radiation in outer space means that trips to the moon must forever remain in the realm of romance and fantasy.”

In 1974, he wrote in American Scientist, “The computer has proved its worth as a business machine, but it is impossible to imagine its having any use in the home beyond that of a very expensive recipe file.”

In spite of his advancing years, Dr. Klunck continued to speak whenever he was invited, believing it his duty to allow younger generations the benefit of his many years of accumulated experience. Just yesterday, in his final public appearance, a speech on the manufacturing floor of the Superior Anvil Company, Dr. Klunck told his audience, “With medical technology in its current state, and my health gratifyingly robust, there is no reason why I should not continue to live at least another ten years, if not considerably longer.” According to witnesses, it was at about that point in the speech that the tragic malfunction with the anvil hoist occurred.

A COMMENT LEFT at I Wish I’d Said That reveals what was really going on in the mind of Richard Nixon when he confronted the thorny question of Cambodia in 1970.

Louis vuitton handbag — a small country of seven million people — has been a neutral nation since the Geneva Agreement of 1954, an agreement, incidentally, which was signed by the government of North Vietnam. American policy since then louis vuitton luggage has been to scrupulously respect the neutrality of the Cambodian people.

For the previous four years, from 1965 to 1969, we did not have any diplomatic mission whatever in Cambodia, and for the past five years louis vuitton sunglass have provided no military assistance whatever and no economic assistance to Cambodia. I said then that louis vuitton on sale was making that decision despite our concern over increased enemy activity in Laos, in Cambodia, and in South Vietnam. And at that time I warned that if louis vuitton factory concluded that increased enemy activity in any of these areas endangered the lives of Americans remaining in Vietnam, louis vuitton outlet would not hesitate to take strong and effective measures to deal with that situation.

Bad Cook Winery Cabernet Franc 2009. Strong notes of burnt toast, underdone eggs, soggy cereal, stale muffins, and instant coffee. A favorite at Sunday brunch. Score: 85.

Brown Paper Bag Old Vines Niagara. Sweet, with subtle notes of brightly colored hard candy and store-brand grape soda. Score: 85.

Château Lavoisier Cuvée des Consultants 2011. A French wine laboratory-blended under the careful supervision of expert vintners from California and Australia. Nose of cardboard box, finishing with strong screw-top notes. Score: 85.

Rupert Moravia California Six-Hundred-Dollar Meritage. Extravagant yet avaricious, with strong notes of old money. Real greenbacks, not those pink things they’ve been trying to foist off on us lately. Score: 85.

We begin with a Royal Quiet Deluxe from the late 1940s, which incidentally is the machine that produced the hurried scribble above. This is about as good as a portable typewriter gets; it was made just before cost displaced quality as the primary consideration in manufacturing.

This is a very well-used Underwood Standard Portable from the early 1920s. It has a double shift: there are three characters on each type bar, with separate “FIG” and “CAP” keys to reach the different characters. That makes for a small keyboard and a tiny but very sturdy portable typewriter.

This strange creature is a Monarch Pioneer, built by Remington in the late Depression era as a cheap typewriter for starving writers. It is made with cheap sheet metal, with an abbreviated keyboard and no carriage-return lever (you have to turn the platen yourself after each line). It works well enough, though: the mechanical design is the same as the design of the well-made Remington Portables of the same era.

Behold the famous Woodstock Typewriter, a well-made office machine from the middle 1940s that was perhaps a little old-fashioned by the technological standards of the time, but built to last forever. This particular machine was in use at the corporate headquarters of the old G. C. Murphy dime-store chain until about 1990, when the office was closed and Dr. Boli rescued the typewriter. In honor of Mr. Alger Hiss, Dr. Boli uses this typewriter exclusively for his un-American activities.

Four typewriters are enough for today, but we shall see more before the month is out.

And now a word of advice for anyone inspired to put an old typewriter back into service. Typewriter ribbons are not always easy to come by, but “universal” printing-calculator ribbons are everywhere. They are identical to ordinary two-color typewriter ribbons except for the spool and the little ring at the end of the ribbon that triggers the automatic ribbon reverse. Just take the old ribbon off the old spools and wind the calculator ribbon around them instead; in place of the auto-reverse ring, stick a small wire brad through the ribbon near the end.

If you feel exceptionally flashy (and who does not so feel occasionally?), universal cash-register ribbons are the same as universal calculator ribbons, except vivid purple.  Anything you type with them, however, must be kept in a folder or drawer, because the purple ink fades when exposed to the light.

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Was this entirely too much information? Wash it down with a tall glass of misinformation, available now wherever misinformation is sold.

]]> http://drboli.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/international-typewriter-appreciation-month/feed/ 1 Dr. Boli international-typewriter-appreciation-month royal-quiet-deluxe-01 underwood-standard-portable-01 monarch-pioneer-01 woodstock-01 http://drboli.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/useful-english-phrases-for-visitors-from-foreign-lands-6/ http://drboli.wordpress.com/2012/02/19/useful-english-phrases-for-visitors-from-foreign-lands-6/#comments Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:48:56 +0000 Dr. Boli http://drboli.wordpress.com/?p=5562 ]]> No. 5.—What Time Is It?

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What time is it?

It is three of the clock.
It is eight of the clock.
It is half past seventy-one.

Is that ante-meridiem or post-meridiem?

It is either ante-meridiem or post-meridiem, depending on which side of the earth you stand on.
It is both ante-meridiem and post-meridiem, because I bestride the narrow world like a colossus.
It is neither ante-meridiem nor post-meridiem, because in this enlightened age we have repudiated the outmoded chronicist concept of “noon.”

Are you certain that your clock is correct?
Are you positive that there are seventy-one hours in a day?

My clock is always correct, because it is in constant radio communication with the Foucault pendulum at the Smithsonian Institution.
My clock is never correct, because a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little clocks.
My clock is a regulator, and therefore all other clocks in the house must be set to half past seventy-one.

What time will it be this time tomorrow?

It is not possible to know what time it will be this time tomorrow, because tomorrow is infinitely far away.
It is not possible to know what time it will be this time tomorrow, because it has not been voted on in committee yet.
This time tomorrow it will be a quarter to four last Tuesday.

Do we still have time to get dressed?
Do we still have time to make tea?
Do we still have time to read Proust?

We still have time to read Proust and make tea, but we do not have time to get dressed.
It is too late, because the tea is cold and Proust has already been read by someone else, and that suit is now out of fashion.

Will you meet me tonight at midnight under the full moon?

I will meet you tonight at midnight, but I should prefer not to walk any farther than the moon in the first quarter.
I will meet you tonight at midnight, but you will have to bring the moon with you, as mine is in the shop.
I cannot meet you at midnight, but if you can wait until half past seventy-one I may be able to spare a few minutes.

ON THISH DAY in 1933, the Blaine Act ended Prohibition in the United Shtatesh.

Rap-jazz fusion artist Felonious Thelonious wowed guests at his album-release party with an impromptu rap in 5/4 time. According to sources at the party, no one understood what Felonious said, but all the guests declared themselves deeply moved.

Miss Diana Smoulder, the ravishing heartthrob of the hurdy-gurdy, was the subject of committee hearings in the commonwealth House of Representatives this morning. Her constant companion, state representative Albert Cardoon, is under investigation for allegedly having spent money earmarked for mass transit on strings and resin.

Bozar the Clown is still in the hospital tonight, and more details have emerged about the incident. According to witnesses, he had been turning off television screens in Big Jake’s Sports Bar on McKnight Road during a Penguins game. A hospital spokesman said that Bozar was in serious but stable condition.

Broken Spindle Studios announced yesterday that filming of the first Captain Pleonasm feature has been resumed after a ten-month delay occasioned by a dispute with star Theodore Naphtha. Naptha, a classically trained Shakespearean actor, had objected to some revisions in the script and demanded additional “stupid pay” before he would speak the lines. The studio finally determined that filming could continue without the star, who will be replaced in the finished picture by a digital effect.