A POEM,

entitled “Ode to a Very Good Article,” constructed from comments submitted but for various reasons not approved for publication. Each stanza is originally one entire comment.

—

COUNTRY MEET BOSOM friend,
all within the four seas are brothers,
the author of the article let me remember profoundly,
writing is very good.

Unmatchable aspiring an dwelling house
misrepresenting consequence
because the crime syndicate.
An vacation or an exceptional social occasion
embodies a good fourth dimension.

Statements unobstructed,
at the beginning and the end of the handle
is very good,
is a very good article.

I experienced it’s helpful to me,
I hope every volition like it.

Your information inch this article to partake in,
service me.
Incisively what I needed.

I remember the author’s composition
constitutes really effective,
whilst the point of panorama
a minuscule morsel contrasting,
simply izzit is a good article,
and the source give the sack
trust to feature sentence
to talk about close to troubles.

The music is not pleasing to the ear;
we might have more of the grand rhythm
and majestic Louis Vuitton Monogram Purse the Ganges,
flowing slowly and eternally into the sea.

Be courageous in your life
and in your pursuit of the things you want
and the timberland shoes outlet person
you want to become.
Finally, I seemed to grasp his meaning
and realized that here was
a profound observation wholesale timberland boots.

From DR. BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION,

Second Series.

—

Drama. According to a study published by the United States Bureau of Drama Statistics, the sheer numbers of the world’s population make it statistically certain that there are, living among us now, at least two dozen dramatists of the caliber of Euripides, Shakespeare, or Moliere; but the world will never know who they are, because all the best talent of the age is being squandered on superhero movies.

DR. BOLI’S CALENDAR FOR 2012.

THE MONTH OF May is merry by tradition,
No matter what your state of mind may be.
So try hard to improve your disposition
And smile at every passer-by you see.
Perhaps you’ll like it when you change your tune.
But if you don’t, May only lasts till June.

DR. BOLI’S CALENDAR FOR 2012.

WHEN LUSTY APRIL with his showers sweet
Adds to the damp that March already poured
In buckets round our mud-encrusted feet,
The squishy mess is much to be deplored.
But, still, it’s hard to yield to indignation:
The early flowers are some compensation.

DR. BOLI’S ELEMENTARY READER.

No. 2.—The Teacher of Useful Accomplishments.

—

This man is Mr. Clark—
Mark Clark—
A gay young spark
Who likes to bark.
Hark!
Hark unto the bark
Of Mark.

Just for a lark,
When it gets dark,
Ask Mark
(Or, rather, Mr. Clark)
To teach you how to bark
Like Mark.

BUMPER STICKERS.

DR. BOLI HAS come to the conclusion that the bumper sticker is a kind of formal poetry, the American equivalent of haiku. He therefore counts his own contributions to the art among his poetic works, which will be released posthumously in thirty-four volumes.

 

Click on the image to download a PDF file, which may be enlarged to any arbitrary size without loss of resolution.

DR. BOLI’S CALENDAR FOR 2012.

WINTER WAS CANCELED; March is here already.
No blizzards loom to threaten our repose.
Our progress Spring-wards seems to be quite steady—
But still, prepare for unexpected snows.
Consider, as the mercury still rises,
That March is capable of wild surprises.

A VALENTINE.

THE ROSE COMES in so many hues,
Who dares to call it red?
The violets would get the blues
If anybody said
That yellow, white, and even green*
Did not true violets make.
But all the flowers ever seen—
The real ones and the fake—
And all the ones we’ve yet to see,
On herb or tree or vine,
I’d bring to you, if you would be
My loving Valentine.

—

*Hybanthus concolor.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

THE APPLIED POETRY Department at Duck Hollow University will soon be placing the world’s first wiki-epic on line. Entitled The Williamrufusdevanekingiad, the epic will recount the life and exploits of the great William Rufus DeVane King in heroic verse. Anyone who opens an account at the wiki site will be able to contribute any number of lines to the epic, provided that the meter and rhyme scheme are respected. It is hoped that, through the wisdom of the crowd, this twenty-first-century method of poetic composition will be able to produce a more dramatic and more moving epic than could be produced by a single poet working in isolation.

In order to kick-start the project, as it were (to borrow a suitably poetic metaphor from the world of internal combustion engines), the Department has decided to begin with a contest for the first line of the poem. The winner will have the satisfaction of seeing his or her first line at the head of a dramatic and moving epic poem, at least until an authorized user with editing privileges changes it. Remember that the line must be cast in iambic pentameter, and must not end with the word orange or oblige, as those selections would impose unfair limitations on the authors of the succeeding line. Entries may be left as comments on this article, or may be hand-delivered to the University security desk.

A LIMERICK IN SWING.

THERE WAS A young man from Nantucket
Who carried a tune in a bucket.
When his friends asked him why,
He returned this reply:
“’Cause I ain’t got the rhythm to truck it.”