Dumont Network: Takedown Notice (crime drama). A fast-paced new drama focusing on the heroic self-appointed enforcers of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Tonight: In the pilot episode, Dirk and Moira go after a gang of church mothers whose “entertainment” for their youth group consists of commercial DVDs not licensed for public exhibition.
The Brimstone Channel: The Jesus Show, with the Reverend Bob-Bob Lee (religion). Tonight: Under court order, the Rev. Bob-Bob explains exactly where your contribution money goes. Special guest: Miss Goldie “Boom-Boom” LaBomb.
Northern Broadcasting System: Stones of the City (crime drama). This latest entry in the vampire-building-inspector genre follows the adventures of Sam Ionescu, inspector for the city of Washington (Penna.). Tonight: New tenants complain that the walls of their 18th-century farmhouse are oozing blood. Has Sam found his dream house?
Metromedia: Al ’n’ Me (comedy). The wacky adventures of best buddies Alexander and Hephaestion as they look for new worlds to conquer. Tonight: Stuck in the two-bit burgh of Gordium, Al and Hephaestion really need an ox-cart to impress the chicks – but the only one available is all tied up with an impossible knot.
Golf Network: The Golf Show (golf). Tonight: Badminton.
Baldwin Borough Community TV: Baldwin Borough Council Meeting (public affairs). Tonight: The council president realizes for the first time that television cameras have been allowed into the borough building.
Wolf Broadcasting Corporation: Fries with That (reality). The hot new reality show that takes ten new college graduates, puts them in dead-end jobs, and leaves them there forever. Tonight: Anna has to choose between being promoted to morning-shift manager and running for lieutenant governor.
The Lawnmower Channel: St. Augustine Grass (yardwork). An examination of the special challenges St. Augustine grass poses to ordinary lawn mowers; one priest’s unsuccessful attempt to exorcise St. Augustine grass from his lawn.
Science Central: Science Now (documentary). Tonight: “The Case Against Gravitation.” Are anti-gravitationists simply uninformed cranks, or are they victims of a vast conspiracy to silence their alternative point of view? Narrator William de Vague presents compelling evidence that nothing in nature actually falls down.
Splendid programming. The best of the best, no doubt.