OPEN YOUR BLINDS! The NSA is doing its best to protect us all from terrorists and dissenters, but we need the cooperation of every patriotic American! Leave your blinds, curtains, shutters, &c. open so the NSA and its collaborating agencies can make sure all is well in your house. America is only as safe as YOU let us make it!
Supplement No. 1.
Chess. The game of chess began as an elaborate prank at the expense of a neophyte checkers player.
Dark Matter. So-called “dark matter” is fairly bright and quite visible, but so obscenely ugly that it has to be censored out of published astronomical photographs.
Eggs. “Which came first: the chicken or the egg?” —This hoary folk conundrum reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of evolutionary history. The chicken and the egg are distinct organisms living in a symbiotic relationship.
Evolution. Most evolution for the past few hundred million years has been an unforeseen error: we were meant to be a race of moderately intelligent trilobites.
Grapes. Structurally, according to botanists, the grape is a kind of berry; on the other hand, the elderberry is, structurally speaking, a kind of grape.
Kohlrabi. It is known that kohlrabi has important military applications, but their exact nature is still classified.
Milk. Cows produce milk chiefly for their own amusement.
